Obituary of Ruth Hickcox

Ruth Lyons Hickcox, known to everyone as “Cubby”, died on August 5, 2020, at Middlebrook Farms assisted living facility in Trumbull, Connecticut. Cubby was 93 years old. Her death was related to the COVID-19, from which she recovered but with increasing weakness. Cubby was the daughter (first born) of John Andrew Lyons and Ruth (Moore) Lyons of Lexington and Chatham, Massachusetts. Mr. Lyons was a partner in his legal firm in Boston for his entire career. Cubby had two younger siblings, Andrea and John (Jack). At her death, Cubby was the sole survivor of her immediate family. Cubby attended Lexington’s public schools. Her senior high school year was at Abbot Academy in Andover, Massachusetts, from which previously her mother and later her sister Andrea also graduated. Cubby then entered Wellesley College in Wellesley, Massachusetts, graduating in 1948 with a degree in English Composition. Her formal education ended with a year at Cornell University for specialization in story writing. Her working career included several years in the Children’s Department at Boston Public Library, and then for an extended time in the Placement Office at Harvard Business School, where she met Leigh, to whom she was wed in February 1960. Cubby and Leigh celebrated their 60 years of marriage last February. In their fourth year of marriage Cubby and Leigh moved to Weston, Connecticut. There they raised three children – Victoria (Torrey) and Matthew (Tod) and Hilary, seasoned by a dog and a cat. Cubby and Leigh remained in this cherished home for 42 years. Cubby had an endless supply of loving and creative energy, which she used to bless her family, church, friends, and even those she did not know. Her interests and abilities were quite varied: Teaching – She started teaching Sunday School at St. Brigid’s Church in Lexington when she was a teenager. She continued teaching through her 80s for the Preschoolers at Emmanuel Church in Weston – totaling about 70 years of teaching. Music – In her teen years, Cubby discovered evangelical hymns in Chatham’s Methodist Church during her summers on Cape Cod. These lighted her path from the Roman Catholic Church to the Episcopal Church. At Wellesley she took pipe organ lessons under Carl Weinrich, and she regularly played hymns on the carillon in the Tower. Later she declined the honor of serving as president of the Lexington Choral Society after she accepted Leigh’s proposal of marriage. She sang at home for her children, and in her Sunday School classes with her students. She had a lovely soprano voice, which she also lent to Leigh’s choir at Emmanuel Church. Spirituality – Cubby was a solid Episcopalian for the remainder of her life. She was not concerned about the fine points of religion. She had the firm knowledge that Jesus is her Lord and Savior. She taught her children and her Sunday bunch what she believed – God is Love. Wherever you see love, God is present. It was a simple but undying truth. And God’s love certainly shone through her. Writing – Cubby was often enticed to be the secretary or clerk of organizations. She made minutes and reports truly interesting; people wanted to read them. She was secretary for Wellesley’s Class of ’48 for decades, and for the local Wellesley club; Clerk of the Emmanuel Parish in Weston for a number of rectors; and wrote publicity articles for the local grange. Cubby has three diverse books in the Library of Congress: her witty Wellesley cartoon book, a touching story entitled “Great-grandmother’s Treasure”, and a thorough history of Weston’s Emmanuel Church. Her short stories have been published in multiple children’s magazines. When Cubby retired from writing, she had another two books for children ready for a publisher. Volunteering and personal “ministry” – Cubby befriended many in need and became their voice and strength when they needed it most. When her children at home grew older, she began volunteering at local nursing homes, visiting specific residents and becoming their family and advocate. When her friends showed the need for special assistance, Cubby used her special blessing as a talented listener and questioner, leading her friends toward paths that brought comfort and fulfillment to them. In Westport Cubby befriended and did fundraising and organizational work for John Huminski, an athlete and humanitarian born with cerebral palsy, supporting his life commitment of courage and determination. Sewing – As a child Cubby discovered the special embroidery stitching technique called smocking. She taught herself how to excel at this unusual art. When she was the mother of youngsters, she won the National Grange’s U.S. championship for sewing, creating a masterful 3-piece dress set which her daughter Hilary modeled. Her children’s dresses sold at an outlet for women’s artistry in New York, or were given to myriad family members and dear friends. Those who have her creations value them greatly. Baking – Anyone who tasted one of Cubby’s 3-layer chocolate cakes understood why she won prizes for them. At church potluck suppers, parishioners were seen in the kitchen huddling around the remains of her chocolate upside down cakes, spoons at the ready. Cubby shared her love of chocolate with her Sunday School Preschoolers. Weekly at their undercroft altar they thanked God for chocolate. Christmas cards – We still hear from old friends who collected every annual Christmas card that Cubby made for them. The design was different each year, containing a score or two of intricate cut-out paper pieces arranged in a religious theme. They were lovely pieces of art. She began drawing and cutting during the summer months, while sitting at her beloved Compo Beach in Westport, CT. So much more can be listed. But the truly amazing thing is that all this was accomplished while Cubby endured the pain and limitations of rheumatoid arthritis, which hit her in her early 50’s, and from which she never entered remission. Her rheumatologist was convinced that Cubby’s continued smocking, using her deformed hands daily, added years to her life and kept her actively strong to the end. Cubby is survived by her husband, Leigh of Monroe, CT; her children Victoria “Torrey” (Chip), Matthew “Tod" (Melanie), and Hilary (Kevin); seven grandchildren (Drew, Kristin, Adam, Jocelyn, Stephen, Holly, and Caleb); and one great grandchild (Surya). She died peacefully with her family by her side. A memorial service will be held at a later date (post-Covid) at Emmanuel Church, Weston, to be officiated by Mother Katy Piazza and assisted by Bishop Laura Ahrens. Meanwhile Cubby’s ashes will be buried by her family in the Emmanuel Burying Ground. The family invites those wishing to provide a memorial to Cubby to send a donation to Emmanuel Church, Weston, or to Wellesley College, or to their charity of choice.